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14 June 2011 @ 10:13 pm
Pairings : kinda broken!YeWook, friendship!Hyungshik/Ryeowook , KevShik
Fandoms : Super Junior,ZE:A
Rating : G/PG
Genre : Angst,a bit of Fluff 
Warning : Bad english,Grammar errors,and maybe OOC ^-^;

“Yes hyung,I’ve eaten already,don’t worry.How could you expect me to forget eating?hahaha”
Ryeowook heard Hyungshik’s sweet voice speaking,they were currently on rehearsal break.

He looked at his hoobae and saw him talking to someone on the phone

“I miss you too Kevin hyung,take care....just go to sleep,don’t wait for me.its late.We have emka tomorrow” ,

“I love you too,good night...” and with that,Hyungshik hung the phone up .

He turned forward and see Ryeowook looking at him while smiling.

“Ah,sorry hyung,I did not notice you’re here” , said Hyungshik .

Ryeowook just smiled , “Its okay Hyungshik-ah,you were calling someone important,weren’t you?”

Hyungshik immediately blushed hearing Ryeowook’s words , “Uh....yeah...how did you know hyung?”

Ryeowook kept smiling , “You sound so different when you’re talking to him.Is he your bandmate?”

“...really?I did not notice that.......and...errr...yeah...” , Hyungshik sounded hesitated when he answered Ryeowook

Ryeowook patted Hyungshik’s shoulder and took a seat beside the younger man , “Don’t worry Hyungshik-ah,I have someone like that too,and he is my bandmate too...” , Ryeowook smiled,but Hyungshik noticed there’s sadness in his smile.

He wondered why,but he decided not to ask because he didn’t want to be rude to his sunbae.And so he decided to change the topic as he saw Ryeowook playing with his phone.

“What are you doing hyung,twitter?” , Hyungshik asked .

“Yes,I’m uploading the photo I took with the other hyungs earlier”.

Ryeowook then asked Hyungshik , “Do you have twitter account,Hyungshik-ah?”

“Ah,no,aside of Kwanghee-hyung,we Ze:a members share one account together”

“I see....ah!lets take a photo together!” , Ryeowook motioned Hyungshik to come closer to him and started taking photos with his cellphone,when they’re going to take another photo, Hyungshik hugged him from behind .

But Ryeowook immediately froze.Scared of Ryeowook’s reaction,Hyungshik immediately let go of Ryeowook.

“S...Sorry hyung!Did you feel uncomfortable?I tend to do that to people around me...so.....” , Hyungshik tried to apologize , “I’m sorry hyung....”

Ryeowook finally reacted , “No,no,no,Hyungshik-ah,its not your fault” , Ryeowook waved his hands “....its just......it has been a while since someone hugged me like that.......and you....remind me of that someone...”

Hyungshik could not help but felt even more guilty hearing that.Ryeowook noticed Hyungshik is frowning and held Hyungshik’s cheek.

“Its not your fault,Hyungshik-ah.Please don’t frown like that,it’ll ruin your beautiful face” , Ryeowook joked.

Hyungshik laughed hearing that from Ryeowook . “You are more beautiful than me,hyung”

“But you’re more good looking than me”

“No,you’re more good looking than me.If I don’t have Kevin hyung,I would like to date you” , Hyungshik joked.

Ryeowook stayed silent for a while,then the sad smile appeared again.

Hyungshik now wanted to smack his own head because it seemed he just said something wrong to his sunbae.

“I would be happy if I had a boyfriend like you,Hyungshik-ah” , Ryeowook looked at his hoobae , “Your lover is really lucky to have you...”

Hyungshik blushed upon hearing ‘lover’ word.Its true that Kevin was his lover,but somehow it felt different when someone directly mentioned about that to him.

“Now,lets continue taking the pics,shall we?”

“....Hyungshik-ah...can you hug me again?”

Hyungshik was surprised to hear his sunbae’s request , “...are you sure hyung?”

Ryeowook smiled , “Yes,its nice to be hugged like that.Beside,I’m sure the fans will like it.” , Ryeowook winked.Hyungshik just giggled,he understood what did his sunbae mean.

They’ve done taking the photos,and after hesitating for a while,Hyungshik finally decided to ask Ryeowook .

“Hyung...I’m sorry....but...may I ask who’s that ‘someone’...?Its okay if you don’t wanna tell me about that.Anyway I don’t mean to be rude or what...but...” , before Hyungshik finished his words,Ryeowook cut him.

“Its Yesung-hyung,my fellow Super Junior member...........Yesungie-hyung...” Ryeowook smiled at Hyungshik .

“.......Ah....Yesung sunbae...?”

“Yes,you know him?”

“He was the DJ of Super Junior’s radio,right?I met him once when Kevin hyung and I guested there.” , Hyungshik explained .

“Oh,yes,he became the DJ there when some of us stayed in Taiwan at that time.” , Ryeowook responded.
“What’s happening between you and him,hyung?”

Ryeowook showed that sad smile again “We have been dating ...since long time ago....but I guess,as time passed,his feeling for me is slowly fading...”

“......why?” , Hyungshik asked hesitantly,he didn’t want to hurt Ryeowook’s feeling.

“...I don’t know...I guess he is bored of me.We even used to share a bedroom,but then I moved out.I really....really can’t understand him.Sometimes he acted like how everything used to be,but then the other times he would ignore me.......like I was nothing to him....” , Ryeowook’s eyes are slowly tearing up.

Hyungshik did not know how to do,he just kept silence,and again,he was feeling guilty because he was the one asked Ryeowook about what is happening.

Ryeowook wiped his tears and smiled , “Hyungshik-ah,you’re frowning again.I didn’t tell you this to make you frown,smile,smile”

Hyungshik pouted , “You yourself is crying hyung....”

Ryeowook pinched Hyungshik’s cheek “Here,I’m smiling,so you should smile too,okay?You’re really cute...”



“...I...I...maybe I should not say this....but....when Kevin hyung and I guested on the radio....I saw Yesung Sunbae kept checking on his cellphone......because I was curious,I asked him why,and he said he was waiting for a call or message from his lover,then Leeteuk sunbae said that his lover was in taiwan...so maybe...he was talking about you........”

There was silence for a while,none of them spoke,til Hyungshik broke the silence.

“....Believe in him,hyung...”


“Believe in him,hyung,believe in his heart.You have been with him for a long time,right?Beside,he never said that you and him have ended...believe in him,hyung,try to believe in him til the end....” , Hyungshik said while holding Ryeowook’s hand.

Ryeowook hugged Hyungshik all of sudden,Hyungshik was startled at first because Ryeowook hugged him tightly .

“Thank you,Hyungshik-ah,thank you....” , Ryeowook whispered as he buried his face on Hyungshik’s chest


The Next day,in ZE:A’s dorm

Kevin slowly opened his eyes,he felt someone was staring at him.He immediately sat up ,and noticed that was Hyungshik staring at him.

“What’s wrong?You woke up so early,aren’t you tired?” , Kevin caressed his lover’s cheek.

Hyungshik held Kevin’s hand which was caressing his cheek , “Kevin hyung...” , Hyungshik began , “We have been together,for more than one year....”

“Yes,we are.What’s wrong shikkie?” , Kevin was confused.

“Will we always be together,hyung?” , Hyungshik asked.

Kevin raised his eyebrow,he didn’t understand why was Hyungshik asking something like that all of sudden.

“Why?Is there something wrong?” , Kevin asked him back.

“....just answer my question hyung....”

Kevin wrapped his arms around the younger boy and placed his lips close to his ear.

“Yes,we will always be together.....always...” , he whispered

“Til the end...?” , Hyungshik asked again.

“Yes,til the end....” , after Kevin said that,he placed a kiss on his lover’s forehead.


In Super Junior’s dorm,Ryeowook’s room.

Ryeowook just woke up,he picked his cellphone and went to check his twitter.

He took a look at his mentions,so many mentions from fans,and most of them were commenting about the photo of him and Hyungshik he posted last night.

He went to his timeline,and saw a tweet from Yesung.He just tweeted 2 hours ago,he tweeted about his upcoming song with Jang Hyejin.

“Believe in him,hyung,try to believe in him til the end...” , Hyungshik’s words echoed in his mind.
He decided to type something.

“I’ll look forward to it,hyung ^^”

He tweeted that,responding to Yesung’s tweet.

He placed his cellphone on his bed and buried his head on his pillow.

Yes,he would wait,he would keep waiting for Yesung,til the end.


A/N : I'm sorry for such a bad ending,I could not think of any good ending,so I decided to hang YeWook's relationship like that u___u.I'm pretty new to ZE:A,so sorry if I made Hyungshik and Kevin so OOC here ^^;
And yes,this was inspired by Ryeowook's tweet last nite and today :3
Although I've wanted to write yewook,kevshik,and ryeoshik in one fanfic since I knew that Wook and Shik were going to be in one musical

Doko?: my room
Kimochi: happyhappy
Uta: Heart for 2-ZE:A
09 January 2011 @ 02:12 am
Title : Resignation

Genre : Angst

Pairing : Yewook, slight Kyumin,very slight Sibum.

Rating : beetwen PG or PG-13 ?_?

Warning : Character Death

A/N : I finally decided to post this.This is my entry for SapphirePearls's 5th giveaway,and luckily,I won the 2nd place!:D/ .Was gonna post this on Yesung's birthday...but I think this is too sad to be posted on his birthday,so I wrote a new one for his birthday.The title was randomly taken from Yesung's solo on SS2,Resignation lol.Hope you enjoy.As always,apologize for grammar mistakes :)

Disclaimer : None of these people are mine

“Lets break up....” , Ryeowook said to Yesung coldly,with an expressionless face.

Yesung froze for a while,he tried to calm himself down before started to speak , “Why Ryeowook?Why?Tell me you’re kidding...please...” , Yesung placed his hand on Ryeowook’s shoulder.

Yesung didn’t expect Ryeowook would slap his hand away.

“I...I don’t love you anymore....I like someone else....sorry Yesung,and....goodbye...” , that was the last words from Ryeowook before he turned and run away from Yesung’s side.

Yesung only stood there in silence...he didn’t understand at all...

Everything beetwen him and Ryeowook was so fine...if you don’t want to call it ‘perfect’

Yesung loved and adored Ryeowook so much.....and he was sure...that Ryeowook did too...

Yesung always treated Ryeowook as his precious...his fragile diamond....

Yesung didn’t even know if he did something wrong...and Ryeowook didn’t even give him a second chance

And now...that perfect relationship had ended

~1 year later~

It had been one year and moths since Yesung broke up with Ryeowook.

Tomorrow would be Yesung’s 26th birthday.

Yesung was still single until now...he had no interest in love and be a succesful salesman in the company he worked in instead.

“Hey,Yesung!, called Siwon,one of Yesung’s friend from the same company.

“Yeah?” ,replied Yesung.

“Tomorrow is your birthday right?Got any plan?” , asked Siwon.

“Errr...no...” , Yesung said lazily and kept concentrating on his works.

Yesung didn’t feel excited for his birthday at all...its the first birthday he would spend without Ryeowook beside him.

Siwon frowned at Yesung’s blank expression , “Come on!Tomorrow is your birthday!At least be a bit cheerful!Wanna join me and Kibum to go drink tonight?” , asked Siwon.

“Drink?sounds nice...” , said Yesung.

Yesung didn’t have any plan for his birthday at all...usually he would always celebrate his birthday with Ryeowook....a simple celebration...yet that was enough to make Yesung happy.

And so Yesung accepted Siwon’s offer to drink along with Kibum that night.


The Next day,Yesung woke up with a heavy feeling in his head...he drank a lot with Siwon and Kibum last night...but he ended up being left alone because Siwon and Kibum had a private bussiness to do.

“Argh...” , Yesung groaned , “I shouldn’t drink that much...stupid...” , he cursed at himself.

Today was Sunday,so Yesung didn’t have any works to do....

And also Yesung’s birthday,but yeah...he didn’t have any plan for his birthday...because if he spent his birthday that usually he spent with Ryeowook...it would just hurt him and remind him of Ryeowook after all.

He decided to just stay at home without knowing what to do.

He got up from his bed and checked his cellphone...a lot of missedcalls and birthday messages...but he didn’t even bother to read the messages or call back.

He went to make breakfast first,a simple breakfast,a toast with coffee...and then went to take a bath.

He felt fresh after done take a bath.

He opened his cupboard to search for clothes....there he accidentally took out one shirt...a simple red shirt....but that was a gift from Ryeowook for his 23th birthday which he still kept until now.

“Damn....” , Yesung said as he threw the shirt to the floor.

He then walked out from his bedroom to the living room,leaving the shirt on the floor.


Yesung decided to watch tv to forget that thing which reminded about Ryeowook just now.

Its just 15 minutes since Yesung started to watch the program (which actually he had no interest in) , until the bell of his apartment rang.

Yesung got up from his couch lazily....then he opened the front door of his apartment.

There he saw two young men...he didn’t know both of them.....one of them was tall,and the other one had a pretty face (which kinda reminded Yesung of Ryeowook again) and shorter than the first man.

“Hello....” , the shorter man started to speak , “Are you Kim Yesung-sshi?” , he asked.

“Yes....” , answered Yesung. “is there anything you want from me?” , he asked.

The shorter man turned to the taller man,and the latter nodded.

“My name is Lee Sungmin,and this man beside me is Cho Kyuhyun....we are....Ryeowook’s bestfriends....”

Yesung froze for a while after hearing that name.

“Umm...sorry,Yesung-sshi?” , said Sungmin as he tried to get Yesung’s attention.

“Uh,yes,sorry...” , Yesung finally noticed that Sungmin was talking to him.

“So,Ryeowook’s friends,huh?Whats wrong?” , Yesung said it calmly even though he felt a mixed feelings inside.

“There is something we want to talk about Ryeowook.” , said the taller man,who was introduced by Sungmin as Kyuhyun.

“O...oh,yes...how about you two get inside first?” , offered Yesung.

And so,they started to talk on Yesung’s living room.

“We have something to give to you...” , Sungmin started , “Its from Ryeowook....” , he said as he picked something out from his bag.

Yesung felt confused and disappointed.

What is the thing Ryeowook wanted to give him?

hy didn’t he just go by himself alone to give it to Yesung instead?

“Here” , Sungmin handed Yesung a thick notebook.

Yesung’s birthday’ was written at the cover of the notebook.

“What is this?” , Yesung asked the two men,he still felt confused.

“Please open it first Yesung-sshi...its from Ryeowook...” , said Kyuhyun.

Yesung did as Kyuhyun told.He opened the book slowly...his heart was beating so fast.

He was Afraid,Worried,and Curious about what Ryeowook wrote in that Book.

Yesung looked at the first page,Its filled with a photo of him and Ryeowook with his friends in high school.

‘Yesung’s 18h birthday’ was written on it.

Yesung started to read the text written on that page.

“The first time I spent your birthday with you was on your 18th birthday.I was really shy at that time because I had a long time crush to you....we were classmates,but you know....we were not that close.

Do you know?I was really happy when you asked the whole members of our class,including me to celebrate your birthday together.

Its the first time we really talked....

I could not help to fall in love with you more....

I was really glad we talked at that time...because its the beginning of ‘us’,Yesung.....”

After he finished reading the text,memories of the first time he spent his birthday with Ryeowook flashed into his mind.


“Ryeowook-sshi,do you want to join us?” , Yesung asked the quite boy who was sitting on his chair,reading his book quietly.

Ryeowook turned his attention from the book to Yesung,a slight blush appeared on his cheek. “E...Eh?Join you what?”, Ryeowook replied him nervously.He was really nervous because he was talking to his long crush time.

“To celebrate my birthday!” , answered Yesung excitedly , “The whole class will also join,or maybe you have any plan after school?”

“No...No!” , Ryeowook exclaimed immediately.

Yesung smiled , “Lets go then!” , said Yesung as he pulled Ryeowook’s hand.

~end of flashback~

Yesung opened the next page , a photo of him with Ryeowook was sticked onto the page.

‘Yesung’s 19th birthday’
was written on it.

“Your 19th birthday was the first time we spent your birthday together since we started to date.

I was really confused about what to give to you at that time.

Do you know?One of our classmate said that I should give myself to you...he is crazy!kekeke.

In the end,I really gave myself to you...

But I didn’t regret,because you’re the only person I want give myself to....

I will never forget that day we spent together,Yesung....never....”

The next page was ‘Yesung’s 20th birthday’

Another photo of him and Yesung was sticked onto the page.It was taken at Ryeowook’s bedroom.Ryeowook’s wearing pajama in that photo.Yesung chuckled a bit when he saw the photo.

“Your 20th birthday,we were really busy with our university at that time.

I was really afraid we wouldn’t be able to celebrate it together....

I rushed to finish all my assignments at that time...but I ended up getting sick...I’m sorry Yesung...I was so useless....I didn’t even get anything for your birthday at that time.

And you ended up taking care of me in my house on your birthday....”


“I’m sorry Yesung....” , Ryeowook said while laying limply on his bed...his face red flushed and he let out coughs sometimes.

Yesung smiled , “What’s to sorry about,Wookie?” , he held Ryeowook’s hand gently , “Its my duty to take care of you after all...”

“But today is your birthday...you’re supposed to celebrate your birthday Yesung,but now you’re taking care of your useless,sick boyfriend....” , Ryeowook exclaimed.

Yesung frowned , “Don’t call yourself like that!I don’t like it...beside.... I don’t wanna celebrate my birthday while you’re laying in your bed like this.What I care about is I’m spending my birthday with you,and only you” , Yesung said as he smiled gently.

Ryeowook’s face that had been red became more red because of Yesung’s words , “You’re so cheesy Yesung....” , Ryeowook smiled at his boyfriend

“But,Thank you very much Yesung,I love you....”

~end of Flashback~

Next page , ‘Yesung’s 21th birthday’ , a photo of the two of them eating cake was sticked onto the page.

“I was so happy on Your 21th birthday

Because I finally be able to do something for your birthday at that time.

Do you remember?I baked a cake for you and brought it to your house.”


“This is really delicious Wookie!” , Yesung said as he continued to eat the cake.

“Really?Thank you...I’m glad....” , Ryeowook didn’t continue to eat his cake,he was looking at his happy boyfriend instead.

“Yeah!I really love this!You will make such a good wife,Wookie-ah!” , Yesung grinned.

“W...what?” , Ryeowook was surprised , “Wife?Wife?What is in your mind Yesung?”

Yesung frowned , “You don’t want to be my wife?” , he asked Ryeowook with a serious look in his face.

Ryeowook blushed because his boyfriend was looking at him with that serious look , “I...I didn’t say that I don’t want to...but...wife...it sounds....wrong?” , said Ryeowook,still blushing.

“Awww...you’re so cute when you’re blushing” , Yesung stopped eating,reaching his boyfriend to plant a kiss on Ryeowook’s lips.

~end of Flashback~

Next,Yesung’s 22th birthday.A photo of Ryeowook with Yesung and Yesung’s family was sticked onto the page.

Yesung started to read the text.

“Its the year when you finally graduated from your college.

Do you remember we had a fight 2 weeks before your birthday?

I was mad at you because you were really busy regarding your graduation and seldom contacting me.

I was really upset...I was even planning to not going to your graduation.

But then you came to my house,bringing a bouquette of roses,and apologized.

You’re lucky I forgave you at that time!Kekeke.

And on your birthday,we had a dinner with your family.

Do you know?I was so happy at that time...I felt closer with you...and I became close with your family too.

I was really happy they accepted me...

I never told you this,but I was really afraid of meeting your family at first,I was afraid they would not accept me,and I could not be with you anymore,Yesung.

I love you,Yesung...and I love your parents and your brother too.....How I wish someday I could be the part of your family....”

Next page,Yesung’s 23th birthday.A self taken photo of him and Ryeowook was sticked onto the page.

“At the beginning of that year,you finally got a job.

And we started to live together in our apartment at that year too.

I only gave you a simple shirt for your birthday present at that time.

But I cooked a lot for your birthday...all your favourite foods....once again,I was really glad you loved my cooking.

We had a simple,yet romantic dinner in the dining room of our apartment.

That was a moment I really treasure.Of course,I always treasure every moment I spent with you.But that moment was really special to me...I don’t know why.....

It felt like there was only the two of us in this world at that time....

I would never forget that moment,Yesung....never...”

After he finished reading the text,Yesung remembered he just thrown that shirt on his bedroom floor.

And he remembered his anger too....

Was not Ryeowook the one who asked to break up with him?

Why now ryeowook giving him this?

To remind Yesung of him?

To hurt Yesung with these unforgotable beautiful memories of them?

Yesung paused reading the book for a while.

The two men noticed this. “Yesung sshi?Whats wrong?” , Sungmin asked him.

“I...I’m not going to continue to read this” , said Yesung.

“W...what?Why?” , said Sungmin,surprised.

“I’m not going to continue reading this until Ryeowook shows himself to me,alone.”,exclaimed Yesung.

Sungmin’s expression changed,and Yesung noticed tears started to flowing from Sungmin’s voice.

Kyuhyun noticed this and went to hug the crying man. “Minnie,please don’t cry now...please...” , said Kyuhyun as he tried to comfort Sungmin.

Still hugging Sungmin,Kyuhyun shot Yesung a serious look , “Yesung sshi...please,just continue to read it...its not for us....its for Ryeowook and for you too...please....” , Kyuhyun pleaded.

Yesung was confused with the situation,he had no choice to continue reading the book.

He flipped to the next page,’Yesung’s 24th birthday’ was written on it,and another self taken photo of him and Ryeowook was sticked onto the page.

“We went to a concert on your 24th birthday.Remember?

Actually it was kinda awkward.

Well,its your birthday and I was the one who bought the concert ticket for the two of us.

But it was my favourite artist,and watching my favourite artist on your birthday was really weird.

I regretted giving you that ticket concert at that time,but then you said a cheesy thing again,saying that anything I like would be your liking too.

Sometimes I wonder if its me who gives the presents on your birthday,or is it me who’s given the presents by you on your birthday?

I’m sorry if I was not good enough for you,Yesung.....but you’re the most wonderful thing that god ever gave to me....I love you,Yesung....”

After finished reading that page,Yesung started to wonder if Ryeowook really meant it when he wrote the texts....

Why did he leave him then?

Yesung continued to read the next page....’Yesung’s 25th birthday’ was written on the page,and another self taken photo of him and Ryeowook was sticked onto it.

“Your 25th birthday....do you remember you were so busy with your works at that time,Yesung?

I know it could not be helped since your work was important...but I was really upset because you seldom spent your time with me anymore....

It turned awkward on your birthday...I did not even prepare anything for your birthday,I didn’t even be able to say “Happy birthday” when I woke up in the morning....I’m really sorry Yesung....

But then you asked me to go out...and then we went to a park...sitting there together without caring about how long the time we had spent at that park.

Once again,it felt like there was only the two of us in this world.

At that moment,I thought our love would last forever...

I thought ‘We’ would last forever....”


Yesung and Ryeowook sat together in the wide green park....watching the view around them.

There were only silence beetwen them at first,until Yesung broke the silence.

“Wookie-ah,what is the most important thing to you in this world?” , said Yesung as he moved closer to Ryeowook and wrapped his arm around Ryeowook’s slender waist.

Ryeowook leaned closer to Yesung,he always felt so safe with those strong arms around him.But he didn’t answer Yesung’s question.

“For me....” , Yesung started to speak , “The most important thing in this world is you,and only you....no one ever can replace your position in my heart and mind....”

Ryeowook blushed hearing those words came out from Yesung’s mouth.

“I....” , Ryeowook finally started to speak , “I think the same way as you,Yesung...you’re the most important thing in this world to me....I will never be able to stand if I lost you...”

Yesung smiled and moved one of his hand to caress Ryeowook’s cheek gently , “Don’t worry Wookie-ah...I will never leave you....you will never lost me...you will do the same too,right?” , said Yesung.

Ryeowook felt like wanted to cry at that time,he couldn’t speak any word,instead he turned his body to face Yesung and kissed him.

Ryeowook was the first to pull away , “I love you...Yesung....happy birthday...” , he said it softly.

~end of Flashback~

Yesung felt like wanted to cry...why?why did Ryeowook left him?If he didn’t leave him at that time,Yesung sure their love would last forever...and ever...

That year was the last year,the last birthday Yesung spent with Ryeowook...

Today,on his 26th birthday,Ryeowook was not here anymore....

Yesung moved to the next page.

There’s no photo sticked onto that page.

Yesung started to read the text.

“Yesung,happy birthday....happy 26th birthday.....

When you read this text,maybe I’ve left this world already....

I’m sorry Yesung...I left you without telling the truth....

I have a cancer...and the doctor told me I would not last long...

I decided to leave you with my cruel words....told you that I don’t love you anymore...

I don’t want to be a burden for you...thats why....

I wish you will forget me after I left you....

But in the end,I could not help to make this notebook.

I want to leave at least one word or more to you...

So you will know that I still love you,and I will still love you even if I leave this world.

But,please move on after I leave this world,okay,Yesung?

Please search for someone else to love....but please let me stay in your memory forever....

I know I’m so selfish for asking this Yesung

I love you,and I’ll love you forever

I’ll never forget the days and moments we spent together

I’m sorry,and once again...I love you...

Forever,I’m yours.....

Please be happy.....
~Kim Ryeowook “

Yesung had started crying when he was reading the last text from Ryeowook,and cried more when he finished reading the text...

“W...why?since when?” , Yesung tried to talk while crying.

“He...he just passed away last night,at 12 am.....” , said Kyuhyun , “He tried his best until the end...his family even brought him abroad to heal him...but nothing could save him........” , Kyuhyun continued,his voice was shaking.

Ryeowook was not here anymore...Ryeowook would not be in anywhere to be found

Ryeowook had left him...

Yesung only could cry loudly....he didn’t even care that Sungmin and Kyuhyun were still there.

In the first year of his birthday without Ryeowook,Ryeowook had left this world....

Ryeowook had left him...forever.....
Kimochi: tiredtired
Uta: It Hurts-2NE1
12 December 2010 @ 02:55 pm
 Title : Forget Our Memories

Genre : angst................

Pairing(s) : onesided!KangBum,Kangteuk

Rating : R....?

Warning : implied smut (?) , un-betaed (bad grammars~)

Title taken from Kevin's solo song in Xing , 'Forget Our Memories'

There’s something about Kangin that made Kibum always felt attracted to him.

There’s something about him that made Kibum wanted him.

But he couldn’t have him,not when Kangin was dating their leader,yes,Kangin was dating Leeteuk.

And Kibum did not have any intention to break them either,both of them looked so perfect together,so deeply in love,yes,they are his and the others’ Appa and Umma .

No way he could break them

Even so,there was always chance for Kibum to get closer to Kangin.

As the first and second heaviest drinkers in Super Junior,they often went to drink together.

Somehow,there’re sometimes when there were only the two of them and Kangin drank too much until he couldn’t stay sober anymore,so,Kibum who stayed sober had to be the one who took care of him.

With a drunk Kangin,once,an unexpected thing happened.

As Kangin was limping because of the alcohol,Kibum tried to walk him to the dorm,but suddenly,Kangin pushed him to the nearest wall and kissed him full,rough,on the lips.

“Hmph...hyung...” , Kibum tried to say it,but muffled by Kangin’s lips on his.

When Kangin’s tongue asked for permission to enter his mouth,Kibum hesitantly welcomed him.He was out of his mind when he did it,he forgot about the entire world,he forgot about Leeteuk.

He couldn’t resist,Kangin was such a good kisser,and god,this is Kangin,Kim Youngwoon whom he always had wanted.

When Kibum finally realised what exactly was happening,he immediately pushed Kangin from him,until the older man fell onto the floor.

Kibum breathe heavily,and he saw Kangin was laying on the floor,he seemed to be asleep.

In the end,Kibum had to carry the older man to their dorm which caused him to be so exhausted afterwards.

When he was going to sleep,too tired because of the things happened to him,he decided to forget what happened earlier.

Its just one kiss,and he was drunk,Kibum thought.

Kibum was sure Kangin did not even remember who he was kissing.

He acted normally in front of Kangin after that,he did not even bother to brag about it to Kangin,not to crash his relationship with Leeteuk.

He still went out to drink with Kangin sometimes,but nothing like that happened again.


Until Kibum decided to take a ‘break’ from Super Junior activities,he stopped to go drink with Kangin.

He sometimes went drink alone,or with Heechul.When Heechul asked if he could bring Kangin with him,he refused.

Being separated from Kangin,Kibum thought,would make him start to forget about his attraction towards Kangin a bit.

And he was afraid it would appear again if he met him again,he was afraid he would not be able to restrain his feeling anymore.

Luckily,Kibum always had a good excuse to not see Kangin privately.He only met him sometimes with the other members presented there too,so he had nothing to worry,especially because Leeteuk was there too.

A lot of things happened during Kibum’s break,Kangin’s DUI and assault case,Hangeng’s lawsuit,and many many more.

Of course everyone kept wondering too,”Where is Kim Kibum?”

Kibum could just go back,he could just go back to Super Junior when those things happened,no,he should go back,he should go to comfort the other members,he should go to support them,he knew very well that the members are having such a break down with these things happened to them.

But,one thing Kibum finally noticed,the more he avoided Kangin,the more he wanted him,the more his feeling grew.

If he went to see him and the other members,he was afraid he would not able to restrain himself anymore.
He wanted Kangin so bad,it hurted him.

He didn’t care even if some people accused him as betrayer,as a bad person for not showing up with these things happened.

He texted the members,but still,he decided not to show up.

Not to cause another problem among Super Junior.


When he heard about Kangin’s enlistment,he froze.

He did not know how he should do,Kangin was going to army,and it meant,2 years.

Super Junior without Kangin,2 years?Leeteuk without Kangin,2 years?

“Are they going to be okay?” , was what on Kibum’s mind when he heard about Kangin’s enlistment.

After the announcement of Kangin’s enlistment,the other Super Junior members begged him to come together with them to deliver Kangin’s to the army.

“What actually is on your mind?Just this time,go with us” , Heechul said on his phone call with Kibum,its a night before Kangin entered the army.

“But,Hyung....” , Kibum answered him,confused about what answer he should give to him.

“Come,Kim Kibum,just this time,you need to be with us,for Kangin,for us.” , Kibum knew Heechul was not going to give up.

Leeteuk,Donghae,Siwon had called him,asking him to come with them,but their attempt failed with many reasons Kibum came up with.

But not this time,its Heechul after all,Kibum would not be able to refuse.

“Okay,hyung.........” , Kibum said,finally giving up.

“That’s nice to hear!see you then!” , said Heechul as he turned off the call.

“See ya................” , and the phone call ended.

Kibum stayed silent,laying on his bed in his apartment alone after the call ended.

He had no excuse not to see Kangin anymore this time.

But he guessed it was going to be okay,since the other members were going to be there too,he might be able to stick to Siwon,or Yesung,or Donghae,so he wouldn’t go close to Kangin.

And he was sure Kangin was going to stick with Leeteuk before he entered the army.

A bell ring broke all his thought,he got up from his bed,confused who was there ringing the bell,because,hell,its 01 AM in the midnight.

Kibum opened the front door of his apartment lazily,and froze when he saw who was standing in front of the door.

Its him,the man whom he always tried to avoid so much,who made him avoid suju because of his desire towards him.

Its Kangin,Kim Youngwoon,right,in front of his door.

“..........” , Kangin just kept silent,staring at Kibum.

“Wh...what hyung?what are you doing here?at this hour?more importantly,tomorrow you are going to enter the army,right?” , Kibum questioned him confusely,he was a bit afraid of Kangin’s stare at him.

“Are you not going to let me in first?” , Kangin did not bother to answer Kibum’s questions first.

Hesitantly,Kibum let the older man enter his house,without noticing Kangin was drunk.

Kibum closed the door and locked it.He hesitantly spoke to Kangin.

“Hyung,what actually do you want at such an hour?I’m tired and want to sleep,tomorrow I’m going to come to your enlistment too” , Kibum did not expect Kangin would pushed him onto the nearest couch all of sudden and kiss him raw on the lips,bringing Kibum to the old memories he thought he had forgotten.

At this time though,Kibum immediately pushed him away and sat up.

“Hyung!What are you doing....you...are you drunk?” , Kibum shouted a bit as he tried to clear his mind,feeling the taste of alcohol on his lips that just kissed by Kangin.

“Why do you keep avoiding me...?” , Kangin finally spoke again,voice low and husky,brought Kibum to shock,because he did not expect him to ask something like that.

Kibum thought Kangin would never notice that he was avoiding him.

“Wh...what are you talking about,hyung?I’m not avoiding you....” , Kibum said,tried to look as calm as possible.It seems Kangin was not fully drunk,yet not fully sober either.

Another thing Kibum did not expect happened,Kangin pushed him onto the couch again,and he kissed Kibum’s neck.

Kibum cursed , “What the fuck...hyung...stop!”

“I would stop this if you were not avoiding me,you dont know how you drive me crazy....” , after he said that,Kangin started to unbutton Kibum’s shirt.

“Fuck...hyung!Stop it!” , Kibum shouted.Yes,Kibum did shout so,but in his heart,he somehow wanted Kangin to continue,but he knew Kangin was out of his mind,the hell,he was drunk.

And Leeteuk,Jungsu,he could not betray him.Maybe they were separated nowadays,but still,Kangin was Jungsu’s lover.

“Hyung....stop....”,Kibum attempted to push Kangin,but Kangin,known as a strong man,hold both Kibum’s arms to prevent him from pushing him again.

Kibum gave up,there was nothing he could to anymore.

This could be considered as rape,but,the heck,he could not lie to himself,he enjoyed it.

He enjoyed it when Kangin kissed him rough,on the mouth,it felt like the best kiss ever happened to him.
He liked it when Kangin marked him on his neck and shoulder.

He loved it when he felt Kangin’s fingers moving inside him.It was painful at first,but as seconds passed,it changed to a great pleasure.

And he felt the greatest pleasure when Kangin’s whole length was inside him.He could not help to beg more and more from this strong man.Kangin was so big,so hot,so good.

Kangin was rough as hell,but it was what made Kibum feel more pleasure.

When Kibum came,he gripped Kangin’s shoulder tightly,digging his nails into his skin,screaming, “Fuck!YOUNGWOON!”

But,when Kangin came,another unexpected thing happened.

As Kangin reached his climax,he spilled his seed into Kibum’s tunnel,and screamed “JUNGSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” , his voice sounded so hoarse.

Kibum frozed when he heard it,Jungsu....yeah.........Jungsu,Park Jungsu,Leeteuk,he forgot...he totally forgot.

Kangin fell asleep on top of Kibum,and Kibum did not bother to move him either.He stayed silent and frozen on the couch with Kangin on top of him.

Yes,of course it would be Jungsu’s name he scream of,why did Kibum expect he would scream his name?

Kibum did not notice one tear fell from his eyes as he slowly moved Kangin,trying to got up with his body aching,and he moved to his bedroom.

Feeling exhausted,he fell onto his bed,crying silently as he closed his eyes,and fell asleep.

The next morning,he found the couch where Kangin fell asleep on,was empty.

There was no presence of Kangin in his apartment at all.All the clothes were gone too.

And finally the time for Kangin to enter the military had come.No presence of Kibum was seen.

“Where the hell is Kibum?He said he was gonna come!”,said Heechul.The other members just shrugged,while Kangin suddenly bit his lips.

“Youngwoon-ah,is there anything wrong?” , Leeteuk noticed what Kangin just did.

“........nothing,its nothing...” , he said as he gripped Leeteuk’s hand gently.

“Really?But eh,I wish Kibum-ah would come too...Heechul,is it true he is going to come?” , Leeteuk asked Heechul,still holding Kangin’s hand.

Heechul did not answer Leeteuk.Feeling annoyed,he decided to call Kibum.

When Kibum finally picked the phone up,Heechul immediately shouted “KIM KIBUM!WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU????”

Kibum felt his hear hurt from Heechul’s shout on his phone,and he sighed.

“Hyung,sorry,I’m not going there,sorry...I got a very terrible headache” , Kibum said with a stupid excuse he knew Heechul would not believe,but he could not think any other excuse at that time.

“What the hell???Headache??Don’t you try lying to me Kibum!Youngwoon is waiting for you here!Jungsu too!” , Heechul said,lowering the volume of his voice this time,but then he heard Kibum turned the call off.

“Hey!Hey!What is with you???Hey!!!” , Heechul tried to call Kibum again,but only voice mailbox answered his call.

Kibum switched his phone off,and went to lay on his bed once again.

He put his arms on the top of his eyes,as he said to himself.

“I guess its another memory I have to forget,huh?” , the image of Kangin from last night popped out on his mind.

“Good bye,Youngwoon....please take care of yourself there....” , he said to himself once again,as he tried to get Kangin’s image out of his mind.


A/N : sorry...this is such a fail and doesnt make sense,and I could not help still adding KangTeuk into it ;___________________; I dont even know what's in my mind when writing this,tried to write smut,but its fail too!lol.still hope you'll like it though.HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNNIE!Kibum loves you!♥
24 June 2010 @ 05:41 pm
list of my blogcrew.since it eating up my profile =w=

15 June 2009 @ 08:34 pm
Gah...when I just got back to LJ,Exam was coming,so I went away again,sorry guys ==;...and my exam...Biology was like...a monster..gyahahaha...and I must do re-test for that *A*;;...actually I think that's not really important because I won't take science class for next year,but I just...don't like to see any bad score in my report =w=b...but I'm really lazy to study Biology again..ORZ (-_-)

and yesterday was Gelar Jepang UI...whoa..the event was really crowded~but had a lot of fun~*_*.met
arsenfreya as Shinnn~~~*////*...and sawkisame_widi  as stellar >/////<..though I didn't get any chance to talk with her . also met
arashiyukawa  and rie_ecchan as xerxes break of Pandora Hearts there...her xerxes made me missed one of my cosplayer friend & idol who is on cosplay hiatus right now ;A;.anyway,I went there as revolutionary!America,with my friend,pucanna as Iggy~XD.

photo by G4RONK-san~thanks a lot~XD

more photos are here~XD

kay..I know I look like chibi!america more...why am I so shortttt ;A;..well,I already wore a high heels boots..though it was just 5 cm...but pucann still taller than me...well,I was supposed to borrow
arietan 's boots..its 17 cm..but she couldn't make it to the event TvT

umm...a meme anyway..Collapse )
Doko?: my room
Kimochi: annoyedannoyed
Uta: Romeo to Cinderella-Hatsune Miku
19 December 2008 @ 01:10 am
anyone remember me?o_o.I was like...unexpectedly was on hiatus...since exam was coming...then after exam finished,I somehow felt lazy to logged in to LJ.duh,sorry -_-;

anyway,I really want to say thank you to you who gave a birthday greeting for me >w<...maybe its too late to say thanks.but,really,thank youuu~~~♥♥♥♥

and I have doujinshies to share ^^

I have two D18 and one 6918 crack doujin from Peeco?'s reprint collection,also one doujinshi about mukuro,and one D18 doujinshi :D

doujin under cutCollapse )

please comment if downloading

 please don't redistribute my scans anywhere

feel free to use it for translation/scanlation..I would be happy for that~^^..but please credit to me for the scan 8D

Doko?: my house
Kimochi: hungryhungry
Uta: Arashi no Ouji-Belphegor
14 November 2008 @ 04:19 pm

at first,I wanna say....
Happy Belated Birthday!!!! to taliesin_cariad</lj>  , selene_umi</lj>  , and nerrin</lj> ~♥

sorry I'm late guys m(_ _)m...wish you guys had an awesome birthday :)

anyway,can someone explain to me what the f*ck is this thing???8DDDDDDDDDDD
adfksjksjhsjsjsjshshhs NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...allelujahhhhhhhhh...COME BACK TO TIERIA!!!or I will back shipping LockTier again!!!DDDDX....aaarghhh...no no noooooo...DO.NOT.WANT.THATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT D8

OTL...sorry...I'm such a spammer..but but but...Alleeeeeeeeeeee...damnnnnnnn D;

I'm too lazy to download the RAW...but I really curious what will happen with Louise!D8..I love that girl in S2..though I was really not interested with her in S1...maybe because she changed her hairstyle?LOL...duh..wanna cos her =x

anyway,I have a doujin to share~

doujin under the cutCollapse )
Doko?: my room
Kimochi: shockedshocked
Uta: WORLD END-FLOW & Ikoman
16 October 2008 @ 05:29 pm
err..I was supposed to be in semi-hiatus or something like that
but...after saw this in sukiyakiya  's LJ
x_x x_x x_x  x_x
yesssss I'm happy seeing him appear...clearly...in the cover
but noooooooo I don't like his hairrrr....
tapi gimanapun timingnya emang tepat banget sih x_x...saya takut gimana ntu nge-style wignya sementara rambut TYL!Dino yang jelas belum ada..tapi sekarang udah ada..tapi tetep aja....
ampe chiharu aja bilang "Dino ga takut diputusin Hibari apa?" LOL

also...sorry for not commenting in you guys's entries...I have a lot of daily test TvT/