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12 December 2010 @ 02:55 pm
KangBum fanfic : Forget our memories  
 Title : Forget Our Memories

Genre : angst................

Pairing(s) : onesided!KangBum,Kangteuk

Rating : R....?

Warning : implied smut (?) , un-betaed (bad grammars~)

Title taken from Kevin's solo song in Xing , 'Forget Our Memories'

There’s something about Kangin that made Kibum always felt attracted to him.

There’s something about him that made Kibum wanted him.

But he couldn’t have him,not when Kangin was dating their leader,yes,Kangin was dating Leeteuk.

And Kibum did not have any intention to break them either,both of them looked so perfect together,so deeply in love,yes,they are his and the others’ Appa and Umma .

No way he could break them

Even so,there was always chance for Kibum to get closer to Kangin.

As the first and second heaviest drinkers in Super Junior,they often went to drink together.

Somehow,there’re sometimes when there were only the two of them and Kangin drank too much until he couldn’t stay sober anymore,so,Kibum who stayed sober had to be the one who took care of him.

With a drunk Kangin,once,an unexpected thing happened.

As Kangin was limping because of the alcohol,Kibum tried to walk him to the dorm,but suddenly,Kangin pushed him to the nearest wall and kissed him full,rough,on the lips.

“Hmph...hyung...” , Kibum tried to say it,but muffled by Kangin’s lips on his.

When Kangin’s tongue asked for permission to enter his mouth,Kibum hesitantly welcomed him.He was out of his mind when he did it,he forgot about the entire world,he forgot about Leeteuk.

He couldn’t resist,Kangin was such a good kisser,and god,this is Kangin,Kim Youngwoon whom he always had wanted.

When Kibum finally realised what exactly was happening,he immediately pushed Kangin from him,until the older man fell onto the floor.

Kibum breathe heavily,and he saw Kangin was laying on the floor,he seemed to be asleep.

In the end,Kibum had to carry the older man to their dorm which caused him to be so exhausted afterwards.

When he was going to sleep,too tired because of the things happened to him,he decided to forget what happened earlier.

Its just one kiss,and he was drunk,Kibum thought.

Kibum was sure Kangin did not even remember who he was kissing.

He acted normally in front of Kangin after that,he did not even bother to brag about it to Kangin,not to crash his relationship with Leeteuk.

He still went out to drink with Kangin sometimes,but nothing like that happened again.


Until Kibum decided to take a ‘break’ from Super Junior activities,he stopped to go drink with Kangin.

He sometimes went drink alone,or with Heechul.When Heechul asked if he could bring Kangin with him,he refused.

Being separated from Kangin,Kibum thought,would make him start to forget about his attraction towards Kangin a bit.

And he was afraid it would appear again if he met him again,he was afraid he would not be able to restrain his feeling anymore.

Luckily,Kibum always had a good excuse to not see Kangin privately.He only met him sometimes with the other members presented there too,so he had nothing to worry,especially because Leeteuk was there too.

A lot of things happened during Kibum’s break,Kangin’s DUI and assault case,Hangeng’s lawsuit,and many many more.

Of course everyone kept wondering too,”Where is Kim Kibum?”

Kibum could just go back,he could just go back to Super Junior when those things happened,no,he should go back,he should go to comfort the other members,he should go to support them,he knew very well that the members are having such a break down with these things happened to them.

But,one thing Kibum finally noticed,the more he avoided Kangin,the more he wanted him,the more his feeling grew.

If he went to see him and the other members,he was afraid he would not able to restrain himself anymore.
He wanted Kangin so bad,it hurted him.

He didn’t care even if some people accused him as betrayer,as a bad person for not showing up with these things happened.

He texted the members,but still,he decided not to show up.

Not to cause another problem among Super Junior.


When he heard about Kangin’s enlistment,he froze.

He did not know how he should do,Kangin was going to army,and it meant,2 years.

Super Junior without Kangin,2 years?Leeteuk without Kangin,2 years?

“Are they going to be okay?” , was what on Kibum’s mind when he heard about Kangin’s enlistment.

After the announcement of Kangin’s enlistment,the other Super Junior members begged him to come together with them to deliver Kangin’s to the army.

“What actually is on your mind?Just this time,go with us” , Heechul said on his phone call with Kibum,its a night before Kangin entered the army.

“But,Hyung....” , Kibum answered him,confused about what answer he should give to him.

“Come,Kim Kibum,just this time,you need to be with us,for Kangin,for us.” , Kibum knew Heechul was not going to give up.

Leeteuk,Donghae,Siwon had called him,asking him to come with them,but their attempt failed with many reasons Kibum came up with.

But not this time,its Heechul after all,Kibum would not be able to refuse.

“Okay,hyung.........” , Kibum said,finally giving up.

“That’s nice to hear!see you then!” , said Heechul as he turned off the call.

“See ya................” , and the phone call ended.

Kibum stayed silent,laying on his bed in his apartment alone after the call ended.

He had no excuse not to see Kangin anymore this time.

But he guessed it was going to be okay,since the other members were going to be there too,he might be able to stick to Siwon,or Yesung,or Donghae,so he wouldn’t go close to Kangin.

And he was sure Kangin was going to stick with Leeteuk before he entered the army.

A bell ring broke all his thought,he got up from his bed,confused who was there ringing the bell,because,hell,its 01 AM in the midnight.

Kibum opened the front door of his apartment lazily,and froze when he saw who was standing in front of the door.

Its him,the man whom he always tried to avoid so much,who made him avoid suju because of his desire towards him.

Its Kangin,Kim Youngwoon,right,in front of his door.

“..........” , Kangin just kept silent,staring at Kibum.

“Wh...what hyung?what are you doing here?at this hour?more importantly,tomorrow you are going to enter the army,right?” , Kibum questioned him confusely,he was a bit afraid of Kangin’s stare at him.

“Are you not going to let me in first?” , Kangin did not bother to answer Kibum’s questions first.

Hesitantly,Kibum let the older man enter his house,without noticing Kangin was drunk.

Kibum closed the door and locked it.He hesitantly spoke to Kangin.

“Hyung,what actually do you want at such an hour?I’m tired and want to sleep,tomorrow I’m going to come to your enlistment too” , Kibum did not expect Kangin would pushed him onto the nearest couch all of sudden and kiss him raw on the lips,bringing Kibum to the old memories he thought he had forgotten.

At this time though,Kibum immediately pushed him away and sat up.

“Hyung!What are you doing....you...are you drunk?” , Kibum shouted a bit as he tried to clear his mind,feeling the taste of alcohol on his lips that just kissed by Kangin.

“Why do you keep avoiding me...?” , Kangin finally spoke again,voice low and husky,brought Kibum to shock,because he did not expect him to ask something like that.

Kibum thought Kangin would never notice that he was avoiding him.

“Wh...what are you talking about,hyung?I’m not avoiding you....” , Kibum said,tried to look as calm as possible.It seems Kangin was not fully drunk,yet not fully sober either.

Another thing Kibum did not expect happened,Kangin pushed him onto the couch again,and he kissed Kibum’s neck.

Kibum cursed , “What the fuck...hyung...stop!”

“I would stop this if you were not avoiding me,you dont know how you drive me crazy....” , after he said that,Kangin started to unbutton Kibum’s shirt.

“Fuck...hyung!Stop it!” , Kibum shouted.Yes,Kibum did shout so,but in his heart,he somehow wanted Kangin to continue,but he knew Kangin was out of his mind,the hell,he was drunk.

And Leeteuk,Jungsu,he could not betray him.Maybe they were separated nowadays,but still,Kangin was Jungsu’s lover.

“Hyung....stop....”,Kibum attempted to push Kangin,but Kangin,known as a strong man,hold both Kibum’s arms to prevent him from pushing him again.

Kibum gave up,there was nothing he could to anymore.

This could be considered as rape,but,the heck,he could not lie to himself,he enjoyed it.

He enjoyed it when Kangin kissed him rough,on the mouth,it felt like the best kiss ever happened to him.
He liked it when Kangin marked him on his neck and shoulder.

He loved it when he felt Kangin’s fingers moving inside him.It was painful at first,but as seconds passed,it changed to a great pleasure.

And he felt the greatest pleasure when Kangin’s whole length was inside him.He could not help to beg more and more from this strong man.Kangin was so big,so hot,so good.

Kangin was rough as hell,but it was what made Kibum feel more pleasure.

When Kibum came,he gripped Kangin’s shoulder tightly,digging his nails into his skin,screaming, “Fuck!YOUNGWOON!”

But,when Kangin came,another unexpected thing happened.

As Kangin reached his climax,he spilled his seed into Kibum’s tunnel,and screamed “JUNGSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” , his voice sounded so hoarse.

Kibum frozed when he heard it,Jungsu....yeah.........Jungsu,Park Jungsu,Leeteuk,he forgot...he totally forgot.

Kangin fell asleep on top of Kibum,and Kibum did not bother to move him either.He stayed silent and frozen on the couch with Kangin on top of him.

Yes,of course it would be Jungsu’s name he scream of,why did Kibum expect he would scream his name?

Kibum did not notice one tear fell from his eyes as he slowly moved Kangin,trying to got up with his body aching,and he moved to his bedroom.

Feeling exhausted,he fell onto his bed,crying silently as he closed his eyes,and fell asleep.

The next morning,he found the couch where Kangin fell asleep on,was empty.

There was no presence of Kangin in his apartment at all.All the clothes were gone too.

And finally the time for Kangin to enter the military had come.No presence of Kibum was seen.

“Where the hell is Kibum?He said he was gonna come!”,said Heechul.The other members just shrugged,while Kangin suddenly bit his lips.

“Youngwoon-ah,is there anything wrong?” , Leeteuk noticed what Kangin just did.

“........nothing,its nothing...” , he said as he gripped Leeteuk’s hand gently.

“Really?But eh,I wish Kibum-ah would come too...Heechul,is it true he is going to come?” , Leeteuk asked Heechul,still holding Kangin’s hand.

Heechul did not answer Leeteuk.Feeling annoyed,he decided to call Kibum.

When Kibum finally picked the phone up,Heechul immediately shouted “KIM KIBUM!WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU????”

Kibum felt his hear hurt from Heechul’s shout on his phone,and he sighed.

“Hyung,sorry,I’m not going there,sorry...I got a very terrible headache” , Kibum said with a stupid excuse he knew Heechul would not believe,but he could not think any other excuse at that time.

“What the hell???Headache??Don’t you try lying to me Kibum!Youngwoon is waiting for you here!Jungsu too!” , Heechul said,lowering the volume of his voice this time,but then he heard Kibum turned the call off.

“Hey!Hey!What is with you???Hey!!!” , Heechul tried to call Kibum again,but only voice mailbox answered his call.

Kibum switched his phone off,and went to lay on his bed once again.

He put his arms on the top of his eyes,as he said to himself.

“I guess its another memory I have to forget,huh?” , the image of Kangin from last night popped out on his mind.

“Good bye,Youngwoon....please take care of yourself there....” , he said to himself once again,as he tried to get Kangin’s image out of his mind.


A/N : sorry...this is such a fail and doesnt make sense,and I could not help still adding KangTeuk into it ;___________________; I dont even know what's in my mind when writing this,tried to write smut,but its fail too!lol.still hope you'll like it though.HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNNIE!Kibum loves you!♥
Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy's Fatherego_magnificent on December 12th, 2010 08:00 am (UTC)
what! omg thanks so much! i am soooo glad i decided not to go to sleep right away! this is amazinggggg

wow this is such angst and it makes the events that happen in real life go so well with it! it is so perfect! i feel so bad for kibummie in this. Kangin you jerk! i still love them all though.

poor kibum have to suffer alone through all of this. he really loves his sj brothers and kangin. awwww

thanks so much this is not fail at all!